What would you say, Mr. President?
People really like you. You cannot ask for anything more than that.
That's exactly why I'm concerned. Our potential seems to be obscured.
From here I could only go down.
I need an explanation... Tell me why every time I try to do something
for this country, some crocks have to screw things up?
They are always holding you back when you try to do something useful.
These people are complete crocks.
What do you think you are doing?
Can't you see I'm busy?
- I'm going to leave. - You're busy with yourself as usual.
I'm not one for hanging around in your shadow.
Because I'm fighting for eternal dignity.
Please stop with this circus.
Think of how much I spent on Vienna.
Yes, but I had a dinner with the Habsburg. Right?
You have no idea how important these contacts are.
You can't buy prestige cheaply. You just can't.
"We are hungry. We are hungry."
Look what I have to bear with!
I want Varadin to go there. He can do it.
Varadin has to go to London.
13.
It was Thursday. Like any other...
The duty-free shop in the embassy was opened from 10 to 12am, as usual...
For trusted customers only.
Despite the negative stories, it was just a form of mutual assistance
in the spirit of best corporate traditions.
The turnover of the duty-free shop came to £12,545
for the first six months of the year.
This would be mainly by selling rakia, beer and cigarettes
from the diplomatic quota which was rather hard to acquire.
In the meantime, Sir Dee Garber - chairman of the National Defense Commission,
had found some disturbing figures in the budget.
This led to a further four-year delay of strategic European project
for a combat jet, named "Eurofighter".
The deficit amount was... £12,545.
This money wasn't so big of an issue,
but the bad tendency that could lead to undesirable consequences.
Counsellor Mavrodiev have also found
some serious loopholes in the budget of his business establishment.
Piss off.
You have debts to pay off first.
- Come on, I'll pay you tomorrow. - I'm really tired of actors.
But unlike the chairman of NDA, the Counsellor had a very
clear idea of where that deficit came from.
This led to a further four-month delay
in the purchase of new vacuum cleaner.
I'm begging you, just one pack? I'm shooting an advertisement on Tuesday.
We are fellow Bulgarians. We need to help each other.
Yes, we are. But only after you pay.
How much? - "How much?"
Wait a minute. I'm not a calculator. Calm down.
While the Counsellor was trying to reduce the commercial deficit,
the small and committed team at the embassy was enjoying
the last moments of the sheer anarchy in the last few months.
The squabbles between the employees were almost absent.
An untypical spirit of friendliness and unity could be felt among people.
Everyone had their piece of happiness.
They also had one common trait -
There was no boss.
Do you know what I heard about the new Embassador?
Well... president's wife was soliciting for his appointment here.
Next, please.
Five packs of cigarettes, a box of rakia and four packs of beer.
Are you guys preparing for a deluge to come?
Just in case if the new Embassador decides to close the duty-free.
We've been waiting for him for six months.
What's the problem with the duty-free?
Five of everything!
Is this the so-called "duty-free"?
I don't want to scare you, but I think the new one is coming today.
We just received a telegram.
Hello?
OK, I'll wake her up now.
Katia?
Hey, Katia? Wake up!
Katia?
The secretary is looking for you urgently. The Embassador has
arrived so they need you to clean the cabinet.
Can you take my shift?
You're hanging around all night and then you want me to do your job?!
It's in your area. Come on, get up.
77.
65.
90.
Oh, you scared me.
I'm here to clean up.
You don't look like cleaner.
I'm a student. Just helping here.
I think that even a month wouldn't be enough to clean up this...
warehouse.
I clean wherever they say. There hasn't been anyone here
for six months and..., by the way, while we use this banger,
it would never be clean.
Pardon?
The vacuum cleaner is rubbish. It's like thousand years old.
Well,...
Katia.
Katia...
Why don't you write a report?
Describe the problem and I'll give my best to solve it.
You can go.
I don't want you to clean during working hours or while I'm absent.
Embassador Dimitrov.
You are already at work?
Well done.
You haven't forgotten me, have you? - How could I.
I feel that someone in that embassy is ruining my reputation on purpose.
What do I want so much?
It's not like I'm doing it for myself.
What kind of people are these...
Look... I have just arrived and...
You all say the same. I hope you're different.
Listen to me, Varadin.
It's not so important when you've arrived.
It's important when you leave.
Hey, Pasty!
Yeah, yeah...
Actor boy... I brought the stock.
Stock has arrived. Come on.
I have bad news.
I think they're going to close down the Duty.
Leave it. Let them close it. I don't care.
So from where are we going to buy stock? - Don't worry.
I have something in mind.
However,... I need a warehouse.
It's going to be a big hit.
What kind of warehouse?
If you are thinking about the embassy, leave it.
You saw the new one. He's nuts.
I don't think he's going to rummage through the kitchen.
Who knows? He came without warning. He's nuts, I'm telling you.
This is for my bill.
This is the Duck. The big boss.
Everything goes through him.
R U S S I A
Who's this?
This is Kosta. He's our man.
He lives in the embassy.
If you're thinking something about the embassy, you better find some other place.
Don't screw it, conhead. I've guaranteed for you.
What's up?
Everything is fine.
Good morning.
I'm glad you're on time.
Come on.
Good morning. Am I late?
I'm sorry. I'll clean it.
Leave it.
I have to announce something unpleasant.
Sofia thinks that it's an anarchy situation out here.
Your local self-government had
led to some unusual initiatives.
Mr. Mavrodiev, I'll ask you to hand me over the inventory
of the so-called "duty-free".
We were thinking about buying presents...
For the kids... For Christmas.
That's alright... But Christmas is far away.
The funds will be allocated by me.
Moreover, the embassy is not active enough in building
of the new image of Bulgaria.
We lack high-level contacts.
What's happening with Mrs. Selianska's initiative?
We're working on the matter.
Then why it's been cancelled twice?
We're still unable to arrange a royal family presence for it.
Pardon?
I've sent ten emails to Buckingham Palace, but...
And what?
Well, look, I'm corresponding with one very polite lady
but she obviously doesn't deliver everything to the Queen.
You know, a typical secretary.
So we've been rejected.
Exactly. We have some communication. We keep in touch...
Bunchev! You're not allowed
to send any emails anymore.
From now on, I'm dealing with that.
Okay.
As you know,
the European Conference is about to open soon.
The President and members of
the parliament are going to attend it.
I'm warning you...
I'm not going to tolerate any blunders.
The windows are not clean.
Any progress with that matter?
With the Queen?
My wife has some pretty big expectations for that reception.
Working on it.
We were a bit busy with this conference.
But I have to warn you that it's going to be pretty expensive.
You know my wife. When she has something in mind...
Try to find whoever she wants. Just to get her calm down.
Money is not a matter.
Is my speech ready?
The speech? - What?
The speech?
I'll check it out.
Where is it? - I gave it.
Whom? - One polite Romanian.
What Romanian? Who is he?
- Well, from the Romanian... - What is his name?
You don't know?! Are you out of your mind?!
He gave it to someone from the Romanian embassy.
- What's that? - The speech.
Some very polite man.
- Who did it? - Punchev.
Twenty minutes ago.
Freaks.
They may bring it.
They may?! The President's speech is in ten minutes.
Don't worry. We'll find it.
We always do.
59.
100.
Do you think my speech was well received?
Mr. President.
Your wife. It's urgent.
I can't speak now.
No, no, no. It wouldn't be a problem.
He's with me now. I have to go.
Mrs. Selianska relies very much on you, you should know that.
Yes?
What kind of visa do you want so late, you cunt!
Did it occur to you now?
You rule, Pasty.
The stock is over here.
Look, boys...
What if something bad happens?
I think I'm out of this.
It's too late, Pasty.
You're out of time.
It's working fine.
Take this, you fool.
I told you it'd be a big hit.
The Chinese will get them for £30 each.
Are they alive?
Well... I overdosed them with diaseptyl.
They are falling like flies. Just like flies.
Who was the one who came up with the idea of diaseptyl, huh?
Are you insane?!
What? Come on.
Fuck that. What do you want me to do now? To butcher them?
- This is on your part. - No, I'm on duty.
Someone may come here and we're fucked.
Okay, then... I'll do it.
Chavo, wait. It's not so simple.
You go to the duty room.
If you see someone coming, give us a yell.
- Stop looking them, man. Go on. - Yeah, yeah.
I was just wondering is this that pretty lady with the vacuum cleaner.
So I'm "the lady with the vacuum cleaner"?
I'm sorry. You disappeared, Katia?
You told me to go only when you're not there.
Is that what I said?
Anyway... Where are you heading to at this time?
I'm waiting for the bus.
Let's walk? It's not far, I'll accompany you.
I thought you were taking a taxi.
A little bit of fresh air will be good for me.
Catch it!
Door! Close the door!
It turns out it's not that close.
Distances in London are very tricky.
What a strange day for me...
Started so terribly and then...
Everything got to normal.
My day also started miserably, I'm now dining with the Embassador.
I'm sorry I'm not able to offer you
something better at this time.
I'm cool. There's nothing better than a cheesecake at midnight.
By the way, it's great that you closed down the duty-free.
Finally, a principal decision but they are just not able to get over it.
Actually, what do you study?
At Laban Dancing Centre. Contemporary ballet.
Excuse me.
I wouldn't...
Don't...
That's right.
So... you clean the embassy in exchange for not paying a rent?
I wouldn't say it's that bad offer.
Nevertheless, I live in Kensington.
If you find a job as a dancer, you would be able to live in Kensington.
This one is not bad.
Yes?
We've got a problem. The Embassador is here.
We're completely fucked now.
Fucking idiot!
Well...
We'll see each other at the reception on Friday.
Thank you for accompanying me.
What about the new vacuum cleaner?
Yes, for that as well.
Yes?
It's clean.
Come on. Not much left.
Come on, Pasty. Stop fooling around.
How long should I wait? The day almost broke.
What happened here?
It's time to go.
Channel?
So this embassador is very interesting.
Stop it. I bought that.
I'm wondering... If you can afford these things, why
are you still here?
You are taking the place of someone who really needs it.
You're not even a student.
Don't worry. I will be out of this hole soon.
Good evening.
The Macedonians in Bulgaria
should fight even more for their rights -
democratic and human rights.
Pasty?
Thank you.
It's not like a cheesecake, but still tasty.
The pasty is not bad.
As a matter of fact, don't you think that pasty is one of
these things which are evidence for the common origin of our nations?
Excuse me.
Mr. Embassador, as you requested, I made a small research.
I accidentally found a website and examined some of the stuff.
- Banicharov. - Please?
Well done.
What's up, Racho?
Open it.
Why, Racho? It's empty.
Open it.
Why don't we have some rakia, huh?
Stop fooling me. Open it.
Empty, huh?
Where did these come from?
- From the market. - The market, huh?
Give me a knife.
I will.
What's going on here?
Where did these come from? Banicharov?
- He's in a deep trouble. - Where did you get them from?
Some friends left them in the freezer just for a couple of days.
Just a good deal.
How could I know about the microphones in their assholes?!
I told you not to deal with that scum Chavo.
I know.
What are we doing now? They'll send us back in Sofia.
Racho, please think of something.
We have to get rid of them right now.
Let's break them, huh?
Get out of here with this thing.
Give me some bread.
- What? - Bread.
I will.
Come on. Here. Eat it.
This is not a chicken, Banicharov.
Come on, let's go.
Calm down.
Like the old times. Just watch now.
Hello? Mr. Embassador.
You've a meeting with Mr. Thomas Murrow from Famous Connections.
You escaped to London, but we've found you.
What's up?
- The Duck has been killed. - What?
They killed him. Just round the corner.
Just few moments ago.
So what about the ducks?
Leave the ducks. This is the Russian mafia.
Do you know that we found tracking transmitters in the ducks?
Fuck.
It must be KGB then.
Pasty... We must get rid of these ducks.
Now way. I got through so much. We can't do that.
What happened with the Chinese?
The Duck was dealing with it.
Anyway... I know some Serbians.
- Our men. - Serbians?
Are they going to make pljeskavica of them?
In my opinion, the media is the most important thing.
The icon exhibition in Madrid went through all the newspapers.
Such a furor.
Now we're about to do the same in Japan.
What happened with your idea?
You were preparing something in London, weren't you?
I heard that even the Queen is going to attend it.
We're working on it. Excuse me, please.
Just between us, she's been rejected.
That's terrible.
Yes?
Liar.
What do you think? You're untouchable now?
When are you going to stop playing games with me?
You're worthless like the others.
How dumb I was to believe you.
Divorina, calm down. We've got positive answer. - What?
I have hired a PR agency with highest level contacts.
She will come? When?
We're now arranging the date but it's not going to be cheap.
Screw that.
It can be as expensive as it has to be.
Excuse me.
Can I have a strawberry sourve?
Thank you.
I think that...
I'll have to go to London soon.
Well done. - Great.
1, 2, 3, 4...
Hey, Ivan!
Why are you dangling that pike, for fuck's sake?!
You're ancient Bulgarian warriors.
You've just cut Nikifor's head off.
Again.
1, 2, 3, 4...
Keep up the pike, Ivan!
What the hell are you doing?
Stop!
Our Patron, Mrs. Selianska
is here to see us.
I'm here to inform you...
We're going to London. Everything is arranged.
You're going to dance in front of an audience you've only dreamed of.
What? She'll come?
Yes.
- It's confirmed. - Great.
By the way, I'm holding talks with a potential presenter. Know who?
Who? - Chavdar Tulumanov. The Bulgarian De Niro.
He's in London, as you know.
He's a big celebrity. Is he going to accept?
Well, Chavo is a star, but we used to live together.
Not to mention that the Queen will attend it.
It's absolutely sure. But this isn't everything.
It is going to be spectacular this time.
I've introduced some new elements.
World-class scenography.
No lifestyle decoration at all. Just fire. Real explosion!
By the way... Let me introduce you to our artist. Kalki.
He's also known as "dancing with the fire".
Kalkin. Designer.
Designer.
Fire designer.
I'm more popular abroad. This is my last installation.
"Ibiza by night."
Just imagine it. Ibiza island... Prometey, blasting fire from his heart,
to proclaim the beginning of a new era.
The era of the flaming Aquarius.
A true fairy-scene of fire and water.
Ragrade One. Fire World magazine.
- Really interesting. - You'll see.
We'll show damn England how we do it.
Well done.
Again!
You're not taking this?
Take it, if it suits you. Have you seen a folder here?
- What are you doing at work exactly? - PR.
- So you got someone, huh? - Maybe.
English?
Are you sure you haven't seen any folder here?
What folder? I'm not going through your stuff.
I must have left it in the agency.
You want me to tell the Embassador something, huh?
Bye!
I don't need your rubbish.
I'm not really sure that Serbians like ducks, but...
We need to bag the money. I don't care about the rest.
To be honest, Chinese were the best option.
Well...
Even though I know one Serbian who eats ducks.
It's Dragan, isn't he? - You've been there too?
If it was pork, it'd have been better.
What are we going to do with ducks? They cannot be used for pljeskavica.
It doesn't work.
Ducks are not in our mentalitet.
Fuck. You always screw up. Monkey!
Stay cool.
Rest in peace, Duck.
Good day.
I'm sorry, Mr. Embassador. I'm almost finished.
Sorry but it was a big mess here.
Isn't this your colleague's area?
You want only her in charge for your cabinet?
Yes, I do...
I do want to be clean.
Because she's not living here anymore. She moved out.
How come she moved out?
She wasn't supposed to be here.
Why? - Well, she quit university last year.
She shouldn’t have been allowed to work here, but
the secretary decided to leave her.
Look, I'm not interested in gossips.
Well, I'm just warning you.
Katia's doing something very suspicious...
I think it's porn movies.
Have a look.
The boxes have arrived. - What boxes?
Major Ullaf's boxes, from Humanitarian Affairs.
Seventy seven boxes have just arrived.
What is in them?
- I don't know. - Then who knows?
I don't know. I'll check them now.
I'm done.
What do you think you are doing, Banicharov?
What?
We've again got duck for dinner today.
We'll eat it. We've got to use them for something.
That's nonsense. It's an expensive food.
We shouldn't waste it like that. You must sell it.
- Chavo is dealing with this. - Get rid of this scum!
Hey, Nory...
How about giving me a Big Ben?
I can't. I have a headache.
How do you see this thing?
New costumes, special effects, pyrotechnics...
Your show has cost me almost as half of my campaign!
Excuse me? I want to remind you that my reception
is to be honored by her majesty the Queen of Britain.
It's a once in your life event.
Perhaps I'd better come with you in London, huh?
You've nothing to do there!
It is my initiative.
You're doing quite good with the vacuum cleaner, your Majesty.
You must have been successful
in dancing round a pylon as well, I guess.
It seems that...
Playing the student role...
Isn't your best performance.
Oh, so...
It looks like Mr. Embassador hired a princess.
- I'm not a client. - Really?
It must be one of your professional responsibilities.
Look, love...
It's not about your pretty bum.
Then what is it about?
Don't pretend to be stupid.
Someone is trying to scam me.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Let's stick to the script.
You're part of it.
Is that what you think?
What's up with the press? Why there's no one here?
This was a special requirement from the palace.
We can't risk with that. - Not even a column in an article?
No. Otherwise, our agreement will be terminated.
Her Majesty is trying to avoid cheap publicity.
I hate cheap publicity too. I hate it.
- I know. - I'm very nervous.
- I want everything to be perfect. - I know.
- Even the slightest detail. - I know.
People always miss something.
Oh, of course!
- Menu? - I don't know.
You don't know...
Fuck.
Banicharov speaking.
Who're you? Oh, yes.
Yes.
I'm coming.
Sandwiches?!
You're going to serve her Majesty sandwiches?!
This is an absurd, Varadin!
Why? This country has some sacred
standards regarding sandwiches.
Come in.
You wanted to discuss the menu with me.
Fish, maybe.
At the Dutch Queen's reception they served
sea-cat's tail with orange sauce.
And a starter of oysters.
What does the Queen like?
Did anyone bother to find out what the Queen likes? Huh?
Maybe just some traditional Bulgarian dish.
Like carp dish. - Carp dish?
Don't make me laugh,... What was your name?
Banicharov.
Banicharov!
These people are aristocrats.
What about game?
The Queen likes hunting.
So it makes sense. She must love game.
Ducks!
Wild ducks.
With blueberry sauce, fruits and seed onions.
I'll make it incredible!
But I have to admit that they aren't really cheap.
They're a bit expensive.
You see...
Everything is possible.
What you need is enthusiasm and professionalism.
... And some money.
Yeah. And some money.
1, 2, 3, 4...
Stop!
Hey, cous.
You bastard. You're alive! Long time no see, huh?
I'm glad you made it.
I know that you're busy.
But I knew you wouldn't miss it.
What do you think about the role?
Well, a "role" is too strong word but... Take it as a favor.
How are you doing? Working? What are you up to at the moment?
I'm just relaxing.
I stay at home. My agent is bringing some scripts to me to read.
You're a boss, huh?
You see? Huh?
Who's the fool now? Huh?
They'll get them for £50 each.
You've finally made something properly.
But I'll tell Chavo I sold them for £20... No, £15...
You ain't telling him nothing.
The freezer was out of order, ducks are gone. That's it.
That's good!
How did you enter in here?
Hello, Pasty. - Hey, Chavo.
I have some great news.
Delicious gherkins. Delicious!
Come with me. I'll make you an offer.
We have work to do, Kostadin.
I sold the ducks, man.
Um, no.
So... some Jews got them.
£10 each.
That's fine but...
Something bad happened.
What happened?
They're fucked.
The freezer was out of order and...
- How come it was out of order?! - Well... I don't know.
I'll go. Nory is waiting for me.
What are these things?
Calm down, man. The situation is under control.
These are the effects for the show. And you are?
Who gave you permission to start a fire in the embassy?
Did you say "fire", man?
This is fire design.
Fire blasters!
Skydivers.
Do you know what Mrs. Selianska said?
Everything multiplied by two.
Because... You shouldn't be frugal of arts, man.
Punchev!
Let's check the fire alarm.
We weren't allowed to enter even as spectators.
They're ashamed of us.
We're only useful for hanging coats.
Come on. Faster. You're slow.
Translate.
This event is a valuable contribution to
the political balance of our continent.
The friends are our friends, hence friends of our friends...
Snobs.
Let's go to eat.
Okay.
Wait a minute!
She's here, isn't she?
Fuck. What's happening here?!
They're using look-alike models.
Like Yeltsin, Brezhnev, Saddam Hussein...
What did you think? English are not fools.
It's called national security.
So they sent us a look-alike?
Nah...
They must be crazy to send the real one to these monkeys.
We're the same.
Come on, fellas. Dinner time!
Come on!
The freezer was out of order, huh?
Disgraceful rat!
You scruffy Bulgarian!
Bulgarians are what I hate most in the world.
Do you hear me?
I hate them too.
Fucking hell.
So much hard work...
Everything was for nothing.
You wanted to invite the media.
I'll apologize to Her.
I'll write a formal letter.
So what are you going to write?
Sorry... Your Majesty about
not burning you.
Don't talk like that, Varadin.
I hope no information gets leaked.
Journalists always smell scandals.
Varadin?
What does this mean?
The Queen in Africa? Absurd!
They gave them some scarecrow.
Tato used look-alike models too.
Vikil is a complete crock.
He'll never be able to find any sponsors again.
Vikil...
What about the pyroman?
Who brought them here?
Let's go.
Varadin stopped listening to Selianska.
She was just an annoying echo of her time.
In few years she would be
gone and forgotten.
In big cities, the probability of
meeting someone who you want to see
usually equals to one divided by the population.
But even if you happen to be at the same place at the same time,
the probability of not seeing each other is at least 99%.
But even if you see each other, there's no guarantee
that something will come out of it.